pLs duN teLL mE tT u LovE mE...

2005-08-13T23:23:00.000+08:00

The dust of stars like specks of silver paint on charcoal canvas
nvr seems to bore me with their mysterious glare into the night life
yet they seemed like falling tears when they cascade like waterfalls,
depicting the scene in my heart
the world full of hopes yet sadness
full of mysteries yet jaded
full of laughter yet cries

thE foRevEr speLL

2005-06-10T15:36:00.000+08:00

LikE thE stArS sHininG iN thE skY..
ouR fEeLinGs wuN disAppEaR..
evEn iF ouR hAnds bEcoMe seParateD..
two oF uS wuN forGet thiS....

Yozora ni hoshi ga matataku you ni
Toketa kokoro ha hanarenai
Tatoe kono te ga hanaretemo
Futari ha sore wo wasurenu kagiri

2005-06-09T21:31:00.000+08:00

i paint on the nite sky..
the onli dream i hav..
to becomE ur star somedae...
lit by the midsummer constellations,
we pray together in silence,
in our heart of heart...
that we may stay together...
the Light has come forth now,
inside our hearts..

2005-06-02T16:31:00.000+08:00

The loneliness that remains after we part
hurts as much now as it did back then
I know we'll be able to meet again tomorrow,
but somehow
I just don't want to leave your side
Hold me softly in your arms, please
Oh, but I would give everything,
to safeguard this bliss we have now, forever
The constellations of a summer night sky envelop us in their light
We join our voices in song, softly, softlyI'll teach you a secret word, just for you alone
Hey, let's bind our love in a charm together.

We walk home, along the path we always take, our hands together, our fingers entwined, we never part
If only we could stay like this forever, if only time would stand still, but time slips aways, slowly, slowly.
The dreams I sketch upon the night sky paint out just a single picture:
That one day, I'd become a star for you
One day

Whenever I look upon your gentle eyes, somehow, I can't stop the tears from welling
I've never known such sorrow, such pain before but...
..I love you
The constellations of a summer night sky envelop us in their light
The two of us in silent prayer
That we might remain, just like this, together,with our passionate feelings, forever
At this moment, the light springs forth into being, within both of our hearts.

2005-04-05T21:28:00.000+08:00

You've always hidden your weak side, pretending to be strong
even on the days most painful, you'd look up and smile
The dreams we saw as children, that resounded within our hearts, were waiting just beyond that door
Oh alabaster angels, dancing as your descend - ride the wings of the coming wind
You shine so much brighter now - so leap, to the highest places far away
Within this wide world, if you'll always be by my side
I'll find the strength to go on, even if darkness should consume me
And I believe in the days that we'd argue and laugh, until we couldn't go on any more
Oh alabaster angels, dancing as you descend - on our journey, on this long and winding road
Hold your hands up to the clear night sky - for I'll always care for you
Oh alabaster angels, dancing as you descend - face the dazzling sun
The courage within your crystal clear eyes'll be a potent, unshakeable Power
Oh alabaster angels, dancing as you descend - Ride the wings of the coming wind
You shine so much brighter now - go forth, to much, much more wonderful times

poEm by mE~!!! entitled : diLeMMa....

2005-03-14T18:44:00.000+08:00

loVe...
darN... the same word again..
it beats around my heart...
beats my heart too..
beats me..
y is there suCh a thing in this world?

torture u...
bless u..
hurt u...

hmmx...
izzit gd or izzit bad?

i ponder..
i wonder..
when will it be my tuRn?
to get a taste of this
bitter...?
souR...?
spiCy...?
sweet...?
feeling.......?

well...
nVr guessed someone like me...
so stubborn.. so head-strong...
will hav such a dilemma...

stubborn as i can be...
i m soft hearted...
strong as i can seem...
i m terribly weak...

falling in love duN seem real to me...
nVR!!!!
nvr ever real to me!!

is this jus a facade?
an illusion..?

dArn it...
y m i in this situation?!
where i cant even make my own decision?!

i cried...
weak as i can be...
teaRs...
wat do they reflect exactly?

my pain?
my sorrows?
my happiness?
my helplessness?
my dilemma?

WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY REFLECT?!
WHAT R THEY TRYING TO SHOW?!

igNitEd

2005-03-05T14:29:00.000+08:00

When those soft fingers reach in the end,
Only now, only you, won't that be all you can believe in?
Everyone is breaking down, searching too long for a wish
You�re looking for a place where you can land
Wounded, unable to stop shaking
If these murmuring feelings are indeed our reality�
We break each other down till we can't even move
Our solitary wings overlapped,
We've not encountered the light;
Reveal the glare this age gives off
With eyes filled with sadness, with each kiss
Growing greater, growing softer, I felt I'd be protected
A heart without even one thing to hold on to
En route to solitude, there is a world losing sight
Things that can change grow frightening
In the deep pulsation that lies ahead
Painted in the exchanged flames, I can see eternity
We break each other down till we can't even move
Our solitary wings overlapped,
We've not encountered the light,
Only the glare this age gives off
I don't fear the power to change
In the deep pulsation that lies ahead
Painted in the exchanged flames
Carry out your destiny

BeLiEvE

2005-03-05T14:28:00.000+08:00

Unable to find any words, I instinctively reached out to touch your shoulder
And you, without saying anything, coldly broke free
Because of a trivial misunderstanding, our young love is giving way
I don't want to see such a sad face
Even though your dream may be dissolving, just don't abandon that smile
It's what keeps my own heart glowing
We swore one day to build the future with our own hands
At any cost, on this planet, no matter where on it you are
And now the two of us stand with pained eyes and glances diverted,
But I believe we'll be able to meet again
The starry sky we used to gaze up at together, where so much light streamed through
All the memories of that still won't fade away
If you really listen for it, you'll begin to hear that phrase
in the melody of the flute that was played
And behind the sky, in the tomorrow my heart depicts,
In that same place, I'll be right by your side once more
Surely we'll be together from now on, plunging ahead through these days
Because there could be a meaning to all of this after all
We swore one day to build the future with our own hands
At any cost, on this planet, no matter where on it you are
And behind the sky, in the tomorrow my heart depicts,
In that same place, I'll be right by your side once more
Now the two of us stand with pained eyes and glances diverted,
But I believe we'll be able to meet again

meteoR

2005-03-05T14:27:00.001+08:00

They touch, although with icy fingertips
Illuminated by the frozen moon
My flawed heart still embraces the night, even as it burns out
That feeling that glittered off in the distance for a split-second - If it's love, I'll try for that vision
The light is freed and falls through the sky, sacrificing its warmth only for hope
The flame that's born of dying starts burns on in this, my final dream
If the sin that falls and covers everything turns to kindness, and if a thorn could become a smile
Like the unheard scream of a flower before it falls
The pain that searches for the fragility of a prayer stirs the period when the two of us met
The grief and the light are swallowed up by the waves, and in the midst of all this pain, you awaken
This bond that could be created because we were hurt is beginning to paint over the loneliness
Pouring my life into this; with whatever wings you have left - I'm begging you, please wrap me up in them
The light again falls though the sky, sacrificing its warmth only for hope
This mistake caves in and comes to an end, and my final dream continues on

fiNd thE way

2005-03-05T14:27:00.000+08:00

Why do you, with your small hands,
try to carry all these wounds on your back?
It isn't for any one person's sake, please don't lose sight of that
Why am I, while hesitating,
unable to escape?
What I hope for is the sun, the sun to light the way...
Find the way
Though in this glowing cosmos our hands can't quite reach
We depend on only our resounding love
Because at the end of the path we've traveled we'll find the light
You'll find the way
You said, "I had a long dream...
It was a very sad dream,
but what I saw wasn't one bit clouded..."
I said, "It's okay to cry,
because I'll stay by your side no matter what."
What I wish for is a hand, a hand to reach up to me...
Find the way
Even without words, even without wings to fly on
As long as we stand our ground in the wind
Even if we're the first ones afflicted with this pain...
Giving an answer surely isn't everything
I'll be patient, it's all right, and so are you...
Find the way
Though in this glowing cosmos our hands can't quite reach
We depend on only our resounding love
Because at the end of the path we've traveled we'll find the light
Find the way
Even without words, even without wings to fly on
As long as we stand our ground in the wind
At the end of the path we've traveled we finally saw the light...
You'll find the way

2005-03-05T14:26:00.000+08:00

Everyone, while wandering, is looking for an answer
If we were together, even time could be under our control
or so I thought back then
Instead time flows on, even the colors of the sky have changed,
and our hearts passed right on by each other
In the never-ending course of the seasons,
wouldn't it be nice if we could freeze time at that one moment?
The two of us, while still wandering,
are searching for love in the far corners of the darkness
What color is the sky right now where you are? As it is I can't ask again
As I continue to forget the important things in life, my heart becomes a little confused
Within our dazzling galaxy,
your heart is drawing in and approaching me
The two of us are just looking up at the stars,
and in this moment, the colors of the sky are all blending together
Don't let yourself forget the important things in life
A heart that knows no impurity
In the never-ending course of the seasons,
an hour will come when this planet will vanish into nothing
and all the things in my heart will be restored to zero
as I stare on with only the eyes of a boy
But for now we're together again, and toward the end of that dream
we start walking, hand in hand, never letting go

ReaSoN

2005-03-05T14:25:00.000+08:00

The further we are apart, the nearer I feel you are.
Even my loneliness turns into strength... when I think of you.
In a time where streets, people and dreams change,
I could only oppose them.
I still did not realize,
That there are things that can't be conveyed even with words.
My lost dreams of wanting to hold you by my side,
For them, you said "Don't give up!"
The further we are apart, the nearer I feel you are.
Even my loneliness turns into strength... when I think of you.
The thing that pierces the gentle chest, that's a fragment of my dream.
The miracle that is our chanced meeting, believe in it once more.
In the days without you, I've stopped moving.
But now I am walking out of here.
All the coincidences we shared, certainly
They all have their meanings.
When our dreams comes true one by one, and we meet again,
The coincidences become destiny[*].
If even the torn promises can change into vows,
Can we also change back to the two of us from the time we met at that place?
The dear faces that resemble "kindness".
I can see with my eyes closed, I know you are here and holding my hand.
Even if I can't see the astrayed answers tomorrow,
I carry the truth known as "today" in order to meet you.
The further we are apart, the nearer I feel you are.
Even my loneliness turns into strength... when I think of you.
The thing that pierces the gentle chest, that's a fragment of my dream.
As it is, the miracle that is our chanced meeting, believe in it once more.

Fields of hopE

2005-03-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

Beneath a veil so cold,
You deeply sleep, all alone
The melody of prayer; on the lonely fields,
a little light shined
I watched as you dreamed
You laughed like a child
So dear, and yet so far -
That is the promise of our future
That one day, on a green morning,
One day, we will make it there
Because in this wintered sky
We still believe
Fields of Hope
On the day we were born, we were embraced
And now we search for those gentle hands again
The melody of prayer; one vanishes,
And all begins again; a powerless, painful continuation
One day, to that green morning,
We'll cross through all these nights
Because that is the place each one of us searches for
Now, within my own heart,
I want to keep you warm
So dear, and yet so far -
In the name of peace
Fields of Hope
So dear, and yet so far -
The fields of promise
Fields of Hope
Fields of Hope

2005-02-21T23:32:00.000+08:00

u r e onE.... controlling my life.. is this rite? or is this wrong? haix... sad sad.. sad... sad........

haix...

2005-02-21T23:19:00.000+08:00

pH... u dun seem to love me.. thou i've given u my whole heart... when will u ever say u love mE?? haix... sad sad... sad sad..

i'm sick n tired.. injured n dying... can i still survive in this cruel world... can i still love u??? haix...

yEs... i m in love with ya...

2005-02-21T23:02:00.000+08:00

i'm in love.. hehe.. in love in love... can u believe it?! hahax... crazy in love.. pH.. i love ya!

2005-01-30T16:00:00.000+08:00

我可以牵着你的手永远不放开吗? 我对你的爱难道你不知道吗？我为你掉的眼泪难道你没感觉到吗？好希望..好希望..我爱你你也爱我!! 当我里去你会哭泣吗？

OMG!!!!!

2005-01-30T14:30:00.000+08:00

yesterday... i went to see junaidy off.. he's going back to indonesia n den in 2006 he gonna go somewhere else to study le... haix... this is so sad loHx... althou we dun tok muCh de.. but he's still my pri sch friend... somemore ahx.. haix.. he was the 1st guy to sit beside me when i was in pri 5 when i first came to anderson pri... he's a niCe guy loh.. but dunno now still nice a not.. haix.. but his grandma cried when we were going off... haix... i was so touched till i wanna cry too.. but din cry... haix... but it was so sad lohx....

den har... somemore.. when i reach j8 taking 53 there, i saw cat high scouts... darn it.. damn it... cat high scouts again.. walau so suay rite? somemore they knock it down there.. hahax.. at bus interchange.. den har... i went into j8 to shop for a while loh.. den decided to go thomson plaza to do hw.. den har.. omG...!!!!! when i walk to the interchange.. i saw 3 cat high ventures...
oNE WAS PH!!!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was so shocked den duNno wat to do.. cos he was taking 410 den i also wanna take 410.. but den i told myself.. mux pretend nth happen den i walk to take the next coming 410... den on the 410.. i cried... i cant help it.. i realised tt i love him deeply... i still do... haix.. somemore when i was so luan.. i took the wrong 410.. i shd hav taken pH tt 410.. but insted took the one which went to the scouts hq.. den take one big big round b4 going to thomson plaza.. thank goodness it still reached thomson plaza... tt nite... i was so luan.. i cried n i cried.. i upset till my stomach upset.. haix.. haix... den har.. i realised tt... no matter how hard i try.. its no use de.. no use at all.. haix...

looking back....

2005-01-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

this is wat i sent to pH on 22 sep 2004...
a poem by me n onli me...

if i can try again,
If i can ask for a second chance,
will you turn your head?
Will you come back?
Will you forgive?
Will you love me again?

No doubt,
i have to let you know.
Since the day you went away,
since the day you let me alone,
in this loneliness,
in this agony,
in this pain,
That i could no longer stop thinking of you,
every moment,
every minute,
every second.

i tried to let u go,
i tried to forget u.
But no matter how hard i try,
i jus cant seem to get it right.

to love to hate is onLi a line away..
do u noe tt the more u love e person,
it means tt the more u hate e person.

i've got no right to say
the sentence i always wanted to say..
up till today...
i still haven say..

u left me...
alonE in the darkness...
everything was pitch black..
i cLd see nth..
is love really blinD?
i've tried searching my way out...
i saw a glimpse of light...
jus a little bit..
struggling..
i climbed to the light..
reaching out for sunshine..
a hand held out to me..
i grabbed it...
without a second tot..
thinking tt i'll be jus fine..
the hand gave me warmth..
everything i wanted..
pulled me up when i was down...
clapped for me when i was happy..
i tot this will be the true one taking care of me...
i wanted to make up my miNd..
n proMise him the promise he deserves..
YEs..
i did....
but my heart wondered..
did i do the correct thing?
if i think i did..
den y is my heart stopping n hesitating me?
haiz...
zhuzhu was rite...
i nVr gave u up...
even though i claimed i haV..
every moment..
i tot of u..
missed u..
tot of the things we did when we were together..
uR smile..
brightened up my days...
uR laughter..
brought joy to my life...
thinking abt the past n looking at now..
i dun deny..
i cried..
again n again..
my tears...
jus flow like warm droplets of dew..
every drop carries my tots n feelings..
every drop...
hit the ground...
like coins..
as heavy as my heart...
i wanna forget u n be wif tt guy..
he really loves me a lot i know..
but.. haiz....
i jus cant forget u..
acnt erase u outta my head every moment...
i know i may not be a nice gal or watsoever..
butu really didnt tell me the reason for giving me up...
i really wanna know....
even if its too late...
life's so vulnerable...
i'll nVr noe when i may get a heart attack n jus die..
so pLs tell me..

2005-01-27T20:06:00.000+08:00

Flowers of the cherry blossom bloom and fall even as you watch so it is with all those who quickly become no more...
how bitter it is that all you can do is wait and wait and wait even if all feelings inside of me are like scenes from the dusk....
everything disappears....
people, words and even feelings....

2005-01-21T16:11:00.000+08:00

2005-01-21T16:01:00.000+08:00

The Last Goodbye

How can I say I'm sorry
When I know that you don't care?
Now that I have done you wrong
How can I say these feelings that I share?

I cannot say I love you
Or that I really truly care,
'Cause my words would mean as much to you
As a layer of thin air.

How can I say good-bye
Must I face my worst fear?
Must I lose all of these feelings
That I hold so near?

How can I let go
Of a love that was so true?
How can I forget these feelings
That I still hold for you?

Why can't I say good-bye?
Even when I was wrong
To think that these feelings
Could last forever long?

But I guess it's really over.I
'm left alone and so sad,
Yet I still think of us
And all the times we had.

Maybe in the future
We can sort this all through,
But until then, my dearest love
I'll say one last "I love you."

2005-01-21T15:46:00.000+08:00

I Want You Back

you were always there for me
always by my side
I guess I couldn't see
with out you I just can't abide

those times I loved the most
were just talking with you
who would've known
now I'm all alone
and all I can do is think of you

I loved it when you held me
all safe and warm
I felt no harm could touch me
in your strong protecting arms

but then I messed up
I really don't know why
with you I broke up
and now I am sorry

all I want, is a second chance
I understand that's not easy to do
even if you won't give me a glance
I want you to know,
I'll always love you

2005-01-21T15:41:00.000+08:00

Don't Tell Me You Love Me

Don't tell me you love me if you are not sincere

For a lie that strong can ruin my life and bring on a new fear.

Fear to be loved, fear to love ever again
It can cause my fragile heart to break, tear and bend.
Think of all in life that will be missed
because of one small broken promise
So, when I put all of my trust deep within you
Please don't tell me you love me, unless you truly do.

2005-01-21T15:40:00.000+08:00

That Lonely Flower

Your lonely flower has blossomed for you
Your lonely flower that only you saw
The lonely flower that you watered
The lonely flower everyone else called a weed
You took your time and stooped down to care for him
Friends tried to pull you away but you stayed
I believe in you, flower,
you’d whisper into his rose- petal ears
Well now your lonely flower has blossomed
Now your flower is lovely for you.

2005-01-21T15:39:00.000+08:00

Best Friend

You're the one who's by my side
when no one else is there.
You're the one I can always count on,
You always seem to care.

You help me through
the tough times,
and when I've lost all hope,
You cry with me at sad times,
and laugh at all my jokes.

You never seem to judge me
or ever put me down,
You put a smile on my face,
When ever you see a frown.

You're better than a brother,
You're more than just my boyfriend,
You have a special place in my heart,
That's why your my Best Friend.

dedicated to my best friend zhuzhu...

2005-01-21T15:35:00.000+08:00

2005-01-21T15:32:00.000+08:00

I Love You
by Angel Baby
I never really knew you
You were just another friend
But when I got to know you,
I let my heart unbend.
I couldn't help past memories
that would only make me cry
I had to forget my first love
and give love another try
So I've fallen in love with you
and I'll never let you goI love you more than anyone
I just had to let you know
And if you ever wonder why
I don't know what I'll say
But I'll never stop loving you
each and every day
My feelings for you will never change
Just know my feelings are true
Just remember one thing
I Love You!

2004-12-30T00:00:00.000+08:00

I really love the verse "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or
because Tree didn't ask her to stay". If you fall for somebody don't
pretend that it didn't matter. Love is something that can't you can afford
to have mind games. Quickly tell your love, you love him/her so.

Tree
===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime
I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my
watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one
gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty
face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm.
She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness.
Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not
going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a
good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good
feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I
felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to
give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for
3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3
years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I
kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile
& say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like
a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but
laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone !
cryi ng in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer
training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them
quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will
start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at
her and her eyes was filled shocked.
I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.
The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened.
I know that she's very hurt but she didn't
know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out
for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that
coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break
up and she told me about her getting together.
I know whose the guy. He
has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy,
lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the
school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her.
When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's
like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to
shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry.
How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge
her presence too.

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I
broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure
is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf
===
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leav! es. ; Why? Because I felt that for
a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot
of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a
guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend,
I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy.
The sourness in
the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour
lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths.
When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth,
he got together with another gal.

I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love
me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new
girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I
begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why
does he treat me so well.
It's beyond what you will normally do for a
friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his
habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't
expect me a gal to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him,
love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like
waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know
that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I
waited for him.
The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want
to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and
hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me.
Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a p! oint in
time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my
heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the
tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small
footing in my heart.
I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave
far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile &
didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or
because Tree didn't ask her to stay

Wind
====
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I
have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met
her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person
looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always
be sitting there.
Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he
talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her,
there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she
likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the
feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as
well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding
her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her
usual place, looking at him.
I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a
note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept
the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
"Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away "

It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave the
tree
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me
& accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not
me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me.
Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every
time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I
decide I want her to b
be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her
over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply
from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't
want to reply?"
She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe
my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone,
quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell.
During the moment when she opens the door.
I hugged her tightly. Leaf
departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay

this story is so meaningful... n think it does apply a lot.. the tree... did not cherish the leaf at all.. tot the leaf will always be waiting for him.... the leaf... shd be moRe brave wat... go 表白 to the tree wat... den har.. wind ah wind.. if u can really treat the leaf gd... den i think she shd belong to u....... wat do u ppl think???

2004-12-29T00:22:00.000+08:00

this is my caring cousin... he so ncie de loh.. hugged me a few yrs ago in snow city when i felt very cold

2004-12-27T00:26:00.000+08:00

my god bro nicholas's bdae.. can see me? hahax

2004-12-24T02:01:00.000+08:00

i wish frm the bottom of my heart... tt everyone will hav their wishes COME TRUE this christmas.....

2004-12-24T01:59:00.000+08:00

i wanna be happie!!!!!!

2004-12-24T01:57:00.000+08:00

another perfect guy? hahax... i think i'll jus love him suan le ba

2004-12-24T01:56:00.000+08:00

she so sweet rite? hahax.. when will i ever be as sweet as her?

2004-12-24T01:55:00.000+08:00

this is wat i call a perfect guy... hahax.. ;p

2004-12-24T01:53:00.000+08:00

i know i can nvr hug u again... this is jus a dream.. but.. i do cherish the times i had with u....

2004-12-24T01:47:00.000+08:00

cute rite? hahax

2004-12-24T01:43:00.000+08:00

this is jus like me n maoying.. so close... may we be friends forever!

2004-12-24T01:42:00.000+08:00

merry x'mas to zhuzhu.. yongjun... yongshun.. nicholas.. kor... my sis.. my parents.. my grandparents.. maoying.. sally.. kiangpin.. pris.. jess.. all the zh scouts n guides.. all the tkd ppl.. ken.. qianxiang.. the sec 1 camp committee.. all my friends n relatives.. n lastly.. pH...

2004-12-24T01:38:00.000+08:00

meRRy X'mAs to everyonE!!!

2004-12-24T01:37:00.000+08:00

will i be able to find my correct guy one day? jus like sakura?

sad sad sad... damn sad....

2004-12-24T01:11:00.000+08:00

written on 22nd dec 2004 => still developing
today went movies with yongshun... national treasure... its so damn nice lohx... so nice so nice.. thanx yongshun!

haix.. coME to sad part le.. haix... tmr is 23rd liao.. haix... remembering last yr 23rd dec... haix.... haix haix haix haix haix haix..... is the 1st time i met him... i can still remember.. its at shaw house.. orchard there... den hor.. can still remember.. tt day... i went out with chongsheng.. my cousin.. he rarely ask me out de... den tt was the 1st tiMe i went out with him loHx!!!! den hor... hmmz.. watched lord of the rings 3.... thou i wasnt sitting beside him... thou tt time i also not interested in him... it remains in my memory.. deeply.... den... i also can remember... a few days later... i chat with him on msn... den alex... the 1st guy i like... he cheater lahx.. played with my feelings... den he... exactly tt time... sent me an email.. den it was so sad.. cos he confessed everything on how he cheated em.. n how he already got a gf le... okie... darn it... this is the 1st guy i like lahx... duNno is infactuation oR not... den i told pH.... den i crieD.... dunNo y... he was there for me.... n i also dunno y.. i slowly fell for him le... den later... we went into a relationship.... but hoR... frankly speaking... we nVr had any date b4 de... nvr... everytime is i go his sch or house there wait for him... den walk him to his house... aiyo.. ppl scold me for this loHx.. haix... den har... got another guy when i went out with my cousin for movie... he's called jeremy.. a ricH n erm quite cute guy... okie.... it was a weird thing... cos when i was in relationship with pH rite... den pH always cold to me de.. den nVr take initiative de... den hoR... i called jeremy n chat with him sometimes... btw.. tt was long long ago.... den hoR.... always called jeremy up to ask for help for a maths cos he's the onli one who can help me... pH nvr like me to call him de.... den tts y i called jeremy lahx... actually.. this whole thing was my fault lahx.. cos i was kinda close with jeremy cos always tok to him wat... den one day... he biao bai to me... den i was like... wth.... den cos my relationship with pH was kinda bad... den jeremy asked me......... erm... ya lahx... den har... so kinda broke up with pH loh.. tt time was abt march i think or feb? cant remember.. den har... onli went out with tt jeremy for onCE tt was on valentines... eh... it shd be feb den... hmmz... he weird weird de... jus onli caught a movie har.. den he after the movie hoR... he erm act weird le... the next day... his gf called me n told me tt she was his gf... den tt he gonna reconcil with her.. n she called him to break up with me.. hahax.. this kinda thing also will happen... den i was pissed lahx... pls loh.. i got my own zi zun xing de... den break jiu break lahx... idiot!! felt cheated again... den hor... i cried onli for tt day... aaron was there to pei me... hmmz... btw... aaron's my tkd friend... he so cute de... budden... flirty lahx... anyways... hmmz... den a few days later.... i patched up with pH liao... hmmz.. i also duNno y lahx... but haix... i really do hope tt things will change.... but den... haix... things din change much.. thou he claimed tt he love me.... but... did he really love me? haix... haix.... i did so much for him loHx... u noe.. u noe... yes i noe... haix... i waited for him outside his sch loHx... for hours... den jus to see him for 15 mins? smt there lahx... den i send him hoME... haix... a few times le.. i've trieD so hard to see hiM loHx... hmmz... did he appreciate it? haix... duNno... maybe he din... haix... den hor.. on 18 june 2004.... onE mth b4 my bdae... haix.... broke my heart completely... i noe lahx.. its my fault for being unreasonable... but.. haix... forget it.. its my fault manx..... my fault... haix.. since then.. i'm crying every nite bcos of him... i've tried really hard to win his heart back.. but its no use.. haix... jus futile... haix... izzit bcos i din try hard enough? but... haix... i really tried very very very hard loHx... anyways... on his bdae eve.. his bdae is 10 oct lahx... i got 2 exams on the next day.. i can remember... is chi n maths... den har.. i folded stars for him... i went to buy so many star paper to get the blue n white one.. his fav colours... den har... i went to ps with zhuzhu to buy bottle n tt leafy hp thingy... den har... hmmz... i went to library with dixon n robin... supposed to study.. den i erm... frm there i ran to popular to buy stars cos no more blue n white le... den har... when i m supposed to study.. i was busy folding stars... aiyo... to rush for 2pm the time he claimed tt he's supposed to end sch... den i rush to his house there... waited for like erm.. 3 hrs for him... den he finally smsed me n say he ended sch.. haix.... den har.. even b4 tt.. he refused to see me loh.. i wanna give him present muz beg him somemore... gosh.. where's my zi zun xing???!!!! darn it... i like so stupid lidat... den hor.. see him onli har.. i feel so happie loh.. like flying to mars le... shoot into the sky... den har.. my heart beat damn fast.. den i like so pai seh lidat... den he onli said thanx to me... den i said ur welcome.. den he asked me abt my exams.. i said damn lousy lahx... den he sa y nvm still got next yr.... well.. i dun deny tt i was really delighted to see him lah... hahax... den har.. hmmx.. dunno whether he'll throw away my 101 stars n tt leaf thingy... haix... stupid rite? argh... anyways.. haix.. i've done so much for him... but i shdnt say tt much.. cos i did tt willingly... well... haix.. since he's not happie with me den forget it loh... i know i really tried my best le... i've waited for 6 mths for him liao... but its already after his o levels.. n yet... he still rejected me.. i noe... it muz be my fault.. he said i was too possessive... too obstinate.. n he felt restricted when he was with me... n he dun like tt feeling.. haix.. i always tot tt when u really love tt person.. u'll do watever thing for tt person de wat... u'll compromise... i tot when 2 ppl r together.. it shd be mutually compromising de loh... haix... haix..
idiot me! idiot me! y muz i fall into this abyess? y cant i get out of this bloody pit? i onli wanan be happie.. tts my onLi wish... y cant anyonE fulfil my wish???? everytime i fell for soemonE... its not tt i dun love him deep enough loh... i gave my whole heart to him le...! its jus tt... y wun things work out? m i nto gd enough for anyone?? m i not... haix... arGh.. arGh!!!! i onli wanna be happie... izzit tt impossible?! i've cried long enough.. i've waited long enough.. m i supposed to be tortured lidat?? is this world really unfair.. when u really loved someone deeply... its alrite if he din reciprocate ur love for him... but... y muz i get so torture? y muz i fall so deep? y? y? y?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i onli wan to love the guy whom i love... izzit tt difficult?! izzit?! gosh... i tot i've found my true love.. n i gave him my whole heart... haix.. m i wrong? m i wrong? haix.. haix...
how i wish someday i can really let go of him n carry on with life... its not as thou i cant live without him k.. i m independent de lohx... i always do wat i wan.. i follow my heart... tts the guiding light.. but now... wat i see is nth... onli darkness.. not even a glimpse of light... where's my guiding light? where is the way out? haix... can anyone catch my hand n pull me up or out?!
the story continues... haix... so sad manx... den har... i always tried to win his heart back... i really really tried very very very hard lohx.. i tried so hard.. haix... zhuzhu noes... yongshun noes.. yongjun noes... maoying noes... haix... really... i've nvR trieD so hard for anythign b4... i really love him with all my heart... deeply... u can say i stupid.. foolish also can.. but i really love him to the extent tt i'll do anything for him except.... u noE wat........ erM.. yahx... darn it.. haix... i m so so so sad everyday....
on christmas eve.. i called him n asked if it was impossible btw us... he said yEs... n my heart bROke... shattered into pieces... den cannot piece back le.. sob sob sob.. this is so so so so sad... haix.. depressing.. forlorn... darn it... haix... den late at nite.. he smsed me n asked me... wat if oNE day he realise he still hav feeligns for me... will i accept him? i was like... erM.. wth.. haix... i said i will if i still love him.. haix... is this false hopE or wat.... haix.. so sad manx.. but i really do love him... n its a lot a lot... i've given my whole heart le.. where is the love?! haix... haix...

http://www.inspirational-quotations.com/index.html

2004-12-22T11:47:00.000+08:00

idiot!!!!! i m so pissed off by her!!!

2004-12-22T01:10:00.000+08:00

i'm sorrie tt i'll be using harsh words in this post... but i m really pissed off le...

kao... everytime got meeting for the sec 1 orientation camp... she not here de... kao.. den everything i hav to make decisions... den when tell her tt time.. she always buay song.. kaox.. fuck lahx... den always so blur de loh... inform her stuff or ask her smt... she always blur de.. dunno is act blur oR wat... kao... idiot!!! den hor... ask her abt the banner stuff... ask abt paint.. den she jus tell me anyhow the colours den wanan go off le.. lazy pig... kaox... den hor... all the budgetign i do myself de loh!! den hor... she always miss meeting de... the worst thing is har... when it coems to urgent stuff... i called her... so many times hAr... she slping de loh.. is always lehx... kao... slp slp slp... dun wake up lahx... den somemore hung on me when i called her hp... kao... den everything i do again... this is so guo fen loh... call herself a cl when she's pushing the responsibility.. i m so pissed....

2004-12-20T01:12:00.000+08:00

all 4 of us sliding down... thou cant see lahx.. hahax...

2004-12-20T01:11:00.000+08:00

me n yilyn

2004-12-20T01:09:00.000+08:00

erM... this one kinda funny.. but jus tryign out

2004-12-20T01:06:00.000+08:00

christmas... alone in the cold.. .will i freeze to death? will someone ever find me in this wilderness? even if i'm dead... wld anyone know tt i m dead???

2004-12-20T01:05:00.001+08:00

2004-12-20T01:05:00.000+08:00

2004-12-20T01:03:00.000+08:00

the piC at tt erm cave there lahx.. in perak... me yilyn n zaiton... thou my shorts dun suit my shirt hahax..

2004-12-20T01:00:00.000+08:00

sit sit sit!!! faster sit!! so colD!!

2004-12-20T00:59:00.000+08:00

last pic b4 we went off

2004-12-20T00:58:00.000+08:00

the 6 of us... friends forever!!! till the end of timE... (i upload b4 loh... dunno y dun hav.. nvm.. upload again)

2004-12-20T00:51:00.000+08:00

snow city... cool or cold? hahax.

my msg to pH on 15 dec 2004

2004-12-15T21:37:00.000+08:00

yox... long time no see n no chat le... how hav u been... i noe tt u n zhuzhu kinda smsed... n okie lahx... i m sorrie... for scolding u... i tot...... haix... nvm... i din noe u will mind... anyways... i noe its impossible between us le... haix... in a relationship.. u need 2 hands to clap... no matter how one hand clap... if the other hand dun wanna clap... no sound de.... so wun work out... so i noe... no matter how hard i try.... no matter how much effort i put in... its no use de.... haix... i cant believe it... failure in relationships... haix... too bad so sad... but dun think tt i cant live without a guy.. erM... i mean except my dad lahx... i can be independent... n i m reliable too... this yr.. i've learnt lotsa things le.. thru camps, courses, everyday life, interaction with ppl n many many more... i can say tt this yr is a yr full of so many ups n downs... u made me happie... u made me sad... perhaps.. its all fated ba... haix... fate ahx... aiyo.. this is sure stupid loh... i always think tt when u wanna achieve smt... as jane goodall said... u muz try try try n try n nvr nvr nvr nvr give up.... i can tell u frm the bottom of my heart how hard i've tried... i really really tried very hard lohx... maybe u duNno onLi lahx... or u will most prob think i m exaggerating... anyways... maybe u wun even read this msg... or perhaps jus ignore it... u hor... aiyo... haix.. i cant blame u... its my own fault... cos tts the rd i've chosen.... i may not be gd enough for u... but i can tell u tt.... i m one special gal to myself.... coem to think of it.. i still du nunderstand y u rejected me... thou u did gave me some reasons which did not ans my qn... i noe i hav flaws in me... noone is perfect.... well... same old saying... take it or leave it... since u dun wanna take it... oh manx... make me sound so erm.... haix... haix... nvm... anyways... hope u do find ur correct gal one day..... tatax....

*i dun expect him to reply... n i still got lots to say... haix... perhaps... it'll be my last msg to him le...

july... tts me n zhuzhu n yongjun!!!

2004-12-15T21:34:00.000+08:00

JULY~*
Difficult to fathom and to be understood.
Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Has reputation.
Easily consoled.
Honest.
Concern about people's feelings.
Friendly.
Approachable.
Very emotional.
Unpredictable and temperamental.
Moody and easily hurt.Witty and sarky.
Sentimental.
Neither forgives nor forgets.
Caring and loving.
Strong sense of sympathy.
Judge people through observations.
Loves to be alone.
Always broods about the past and the old friends.
Likes to be quiet.
Waits for friends.
Not aggressive unless provoked.
Loves to be loved.
Easily hurt and takes long to recover.
Overly concerned.
Puts in effort in work.

so true loh!!!!!!

2004-12-12T14:13:00.000+08:00

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

2004-12-08T19:44:00.000+08:00

me n kp... lovely sky rite?

2004-12-08T19:43:00.000+08:00

this is jus so beautiful

2004-12-08T19:37:00.000+08:00

If only u noe, how i feel for u
If u only lived for me, the way i live for u
i'll be in heaven... my dreams would come true
cause all i've ever wanted is you- and u alonE
and i love u so muCh than u could ever noe..
all i've ever wanted is u..

2004-12-01T22:48:00.000+08:00

ouR piT

2004-12-01T22:47:00.001+08:00

sALLy n mE

2004-12-01T22:47:00.000+08:00

mAoyiNg n mE

2004-11-30T01:25:00.000+08:00

oh manx.. i love this pic too... haix.. to bad.. oNE persoN not there... but still... we r friends forever!!!!

2004-11-30T01:24:00.000+08:00

nice background rite? hahax.. we r at east coast parK!!!!

2004-11-30T00:48:00.000+08:00

today is the time of my life... all 6 of uS together... at east coast park.... 29 nov 2004... till we meet again next yR.... friends forever n ever n ever n ever!!!!!!!! LoVE all of YA!!!

2004-11-26T23:49:00.000+08:00

this uncLe.. kept asking me... hav i eaten already? hahax... den i kept telling haim later lahx... later den say... hahax... he so worried loh... abt my fooD... hahax..

2004-11-26T23:41:00.000+08:00

oh yEAh!!! sisters we shall be.. till the enD of tiMe!!!

2004-11-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

i love u!!! who ah? oF couRse my muM.. my dAd.. my sis... n my family members!!!

2004-11-26T23:38:00.000+08:00

me n peiying!!! u noE wat... we roX!!! hahax...

2004-11-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

work attachment... we roX!!!!

2004-11-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

oh manx... this 2 aunties... i'm so close with them... suRe miss theM de.. sob sob~~~ get well sooN wo!!!

2004-11-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

work attachment.. this is the uncle who likes to tok very long de... his stories so real... but guess wat... he got ErM... mental proB... but nice chatting with him!!!

2004-11-26T23:31:00.000+08:00

this is the ghostly bunglow we stayed in perak... guess wat... its SCARY~~~~~

a brand new me!!!!

2004-11-26T01:47:00.000+08:00

hey!!! yox... yo yo yo...!!! hahax.. today haR.. oH manX... rox like siAo.. hahax... 1stly went all by myself to south east cdc to collect my invitatioN!!! hahax... den later went back to toa payoh polyclinic to work.. today like so slack.. oNLi eRm.. hahax... trying to keep 2 of the dementia patients fRm escaping away.. they r always trying to escape... hahax.... they r so cute.. den kept walking here n there... say they wanna go downstairs walk walk.. wow.. so li hai find jie kou ahx... den later haR.. i went out with my mum n sis.. hahax.. brought them to eRm.. marina square.. n guess wat.. i bought 2 skirtS!!!!!!!! hahax... well... imagine pEironG in a skirt.. hahahahahaha..... den later hOR.. we went to suntec.. den the fountain there.. WOW!!! so romantic loH... n so niCe...

today... i've made up my minD... i'll be independent.. look after myself den my parents... i'll grow up... i'll laugh fRm my heart... give the smile tt'll melt everyonE's hearT!!! i believe tt oNE day.. i'll fiND someoNE... maybe noT lahx... hahax.. forget abT this part...

yongjun... this is dedicated to yA.. bon voyage for uR malacca trip!!!!!!! muz miss me wo!

2004-11-23T22:28:00.000+08:00

sad sad sad... oh manx... i m so sad!!!

rejected... ditched??? oH... liFe juS suX!

2004-11-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

haix... today also sad sad de... somemore fell terribly sick... juS woke up onLi.... sneeze n sneeze non-stop.. horrible rite? ya loH.. haix... so sad.. so sad... den i forced myself to go to worK... muz hav responsiblity wat... yupx..

den at work... i work in toa payoh hospital(polyclinic) care giving services... my job's to ENTERTAIN the elderly there... hahax.. give them my fullest care, love, concern, commitment, encouragement and support... well... this is a tough joB u noE... coS its kinda harD to perfect my communication skills n interpersonal skills... hahax.. well... at first it was kinDa awkwarD lehx.. den noW.. still a bit better... i'll post my reflections some other tiME.. noW lazy to tyPE... well.. anyways... its a gD experience...

today.. i criEd again.. for e samE guy.. haix.. is i sux or he sux ah? haix.. izzit i pei bu shang ta? oH manx... is like so humiliatinG loHx... oH manx.. as though i caRE...

well... yS kept saying i'm lying to myself... m i? m i? maybe i m lahx... but... haix... i also duNno.. my miND is so luAn noW... noonE can understanD me... haiXx!!! idiot me... i've turNEd so siAo noW... like a crazy gal... where's the happie me? where's the cheerful n cute me?!

CAN ANYONE SAVE ME?!

oH manx.... i m so so so sad...

2004-11-22T10:13:00.000+08:00

i'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've loved deeply.... hated deepl... shd i hate oR shD i love noW>? in such a terrible contradicting stupid idotic mooD now! i hate myself foR falling for such a guy like him... he hurt me.... hurt me to the extent tt i 'm immuned to it... yeT i still feel the pain... every nite... teArs flooded my pillow... lost in the rain of my own tears.. but they cant wash away my pain n fear... hoW? how? how? hoW? HOW?!!!

he said he's not my type... Or did he meant i'm not his type?! tell me?! haixx..... oH manx.... sick sick... idiot! i'm so bLoody obsessed with tt guy.... idiot! idioT mE! haix.... i've crieD for him day n nite... does tt mean... i'm oNLi tryinG to dehydrate myself?! i DunNO!!!!!!

"can u take some time off n tink wat do u really want?"

"im seriously not ur type.."

these worDs... huRt me likE siAo... oH manx... can u see pieces oF my heaRt falling ouT?!

i think he meant i'm seriously not his typE...
haix.... oKie... i'm so piSseD oFf with myself!!!
can someone jus kill me? so tt i can get away fRm this paiN?!

a tHouSanD miLes

2004-11-22T00:48:00.000+08:00

Making my way downtown
Walking fast Faces passed
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could Just see you
Tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by '
Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed A
nd I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....
If I could fall Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could Just see you...

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight

2004-11-16T15:02:00.000+08:00

sEasHore gaLs... we RoX!!! fRieNx FoReveR!!!

2004-11-16T14:49:00.000+08:00

yoz!!! well.... i'm going off tonite le... at 1130... nervous siA.. last nite packed till 12 pLus... den so blur le... everything also dunNo wat i doinG.. hahax.... comical loh.... hahax.... den the bag i jus bought... wah... so biG siA... hahax.... den cost 166... so ex loh... hahax.... den i tried to squeeze everything inside.... haha.... so useful loh...

goinG off tonite le... but i promised yS to come back in oNe pieCe... n i'm a man of my worD... i WILL come back in oNE piece... erM.. maybe with a little injuries... wun die de rite? hahax... den erM... muz come back so i can work wat... haha.... in toa payoh hospital...

PeRak.... HERE I COME!!!

everyoNe take carE hoR!!! i'll be praying for all oF yA...
may the stars bless all oF yA!!!
gD luck to shingyee.. koR... zhansenG.. chongsheng... pH... n aLL e seC 4s...
加油！！！
大家好好保重喔!!!

thAnX weiqiang.. koR... yongjun... yongshun... kiangpin.. maoyinG....
i really appreciate all uR kiNDness n coNcerN....
taKE caRE... foR i caRE....
whEn u wisH uPon a staR... drEamZ wiLL takE u faR......

2004-11-14T02:59:00.000+08:00

你这样伤害我的心。。。
一切都太迟了。。。

天底下的人都是坏人。。
我恨你！！！
我恨你···
我恨你···

从今天起。。
我再也不会在跟你说话!!!
i hate u to the coRe!!!!!

i thiNk oF u

2004-11-14T01:44:00.000+08:00

When I'm down and all alone
When nothing seems to matter
When I lose my hope
When I'm sad and confused

When it all gets turned around and 'round
I can't seem to reach for solid ground
When everything I've believed in seems untrue
All I have to do

Is think of you
I think of you and it's gone
Like you chase away the storm
Making it all okay
I think of you
I think of you and I'm strong
And I know I can go on
It's like you set me free
When life gets the best of me
I just think of you

Now I know what love means
And whatever life may hold for me
Through the fire
Through the rain I believe

CoS there's nothing I can't bear
Knowing that you will be there If I fall I won't break
Through it all I'll make it through
Cos all I have to do

Is think of you
I think of you and it's gone
Like you chase away the storm
Making it all okay
I think of you
I think of you and I'm strong
And I know I can go on
It's like you set me free
When life gets the best of me
I just think of you

And when I think I'm all alone
I can't see the way to go
Lost in the rain of my own tears
To wash away the pain and fear

Is think of you
I think of you and it's gone
Like you chase away the storm
Making it all okay
I think of you
I think of you and I'm strong
And I know I can go on
It's like you set me free
When life gets the best of me
I just think of you

For the good times and the bad times
I just think of you
CoS you know you get the best of me
I just think of you

i hate u!!! i hate u!!!!

2004-11-14T01:28:00.000+08:00

i hate u!!! i hate u!!!! i hate pH!!!! he suX he suX he suX!!!! i hate him to e coRe!!! forever......

oLd flame will NVR reignite!! love fades away with time... NTH is eternal... NTH!!!! let alone loVE!!!!!! i'LL nVR love anyoNE again!!! NVR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haix... life.... suX so much for me....

2004-11-12T18:45:00.000+08:00

haix... life... suCh a bothersome thingy... wats life to me? i duNno... zhuzhu... greaT... we 闹翻 le... den pH... great... he 瞧不起我... haix.... greaT..... well.... say i got negative self esteem... said... i dislike ppl with negative self esteem.. pls lohz.... toking abt self esteem.... i've got more of tt den anyone else... is onLi u duNno lohz.... wat u can do.. i can do... wat u cant do... i maybe can do too loh!!!! duN 瞧不起我!!!!

zhuzhu... to think he's my best friend... oh manx... now i really wonder... if he really is my best friend.... izznt a best friend supposed to be by uR side everytime n try to help? but haiX... y is this not so?! zhuzhu ah.. haix... we 闹翻 le... i duN like anyone in this worLd le...!!!!!!!

arGh... haix... everyone jus dunno how i really feel... think i'm onli trying to be unreasonable n try to catch attention... haix... okie... if everyone thinks this way... den i cant say anything le... haix... u all all lidat de... dun even wanna put urself into my shoes n think... haix... everyone jus think tt i'm sulking cos i'm having some trival prob... den come tell me i'm not the onLi one who has prob... also got a lot of ppL hav prob... pLs loh... as though i duNno... haix... nVM... onE day.. when i finally bid farewell to this world... maybe u'll realise it.... yUpz.... haix...

haix... got a lot of ppL duNno y i m so bloody sad... well.... my sis... idiotic sis.. horrible sis.. i hate her!!!! she so idiotic de... everytime purposely come disturb me.. say she wanna disturb me coS i disturb her.. haix... but is bCos she tok so loud on phone... tts y wat... haix... den hoR.. somemore.. she say b4 this... "i see u angry i very happie... u die i'll be even happier.. intoxicated in fact..." see... so bad de.. her heart... make of chacoal izziT? haix... den everytime so ruDe n surly to everyonE... esp me.... PURPOSELY ONE...........

today hoR.. early in e morninG... i cant stand it le... ran to some remote place in sch..... actually is behind the guys toilet at the classroom block there... den i sat under e tree... den started crying.. noN-stop... haix... den cry n cry n cry... den kiangpin came... oH manx... u noE wat... she is such a nice n true friend.. willing to 付出所有的友情.. n its deep down frm her heart.... gals like her.. so rare le... hmmz... maybe shD introduce her to some nice guys.... well.... where was i... yUp... den she came.. sat beside me... den i continued crying... she told me not to cry.. but i carried on... tears wat... like running tap... den hoR.. she sat there the whole morning... silently.. but i appreciate it.. oh manx... i love kiangpin... she rocks.... so nice... so sweet... so NICE!!! well... during recess also sat alone n cried... haix... this time noone was there for me.. well... somemore hOR... haix.. chem prac tt time... so titration.... den diXon say i stupid... lousy onE.... duNno how to titrate... haix... den say all aorts of harsh stuff to me.. i almost cried u nOE... coS oNCE in chem prac... electroplating... den they all dao me... den i din do anything cos they dun wanna let me do anything.. i ask them also they ignored me..... haix... i wanNa cry le.... haix... haix.... always lidat one.... duNNo him lahx... haix... so BAD...... i DUN LIKE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well.... stop here for nOw... but got onE happie thiNG happen today... i got my proficiency badges le... den also my total defence bronZe badge... first aider badge... emergency helper badge... reader badge n friends to animals badge... also hOR... jus now... i was staring n looking at a little bird... think its injured.... den i so worried... till i stood there for like 1 hr... still very fuNny... it din wannA move much... haix... den later i wanna touch her... den she flew away le... but can she she's injurEd... i so worried nOW... goNNa pray for her... pRAy for her safety... otherwise i cant slp today le... hope she's fiNE.... i tried calling for help but noone available loh... haix... poor thinG.. if onLi my house can allow birDs... i surely take back hoME n take care of it till its wel... haix... jiA yoU little biRd!!!!!

2004-11-04T20:48:00.000+08:00

cinderella... i love her... she so sweet.. so kind... beautiful... graceful... oh manx... love her... hahax... well... a dream tt u wish... will come true.... i hope me dreams do come true.. n find my prince charming.. haha... buildinG castles in the air again le.. hahax....

iZzit lame oR wat?

2004-11-04T20:28:00.000+08:00

yozx... to myself.. hahax... well.. today so tired lohz... chiong the whole day... morning chionG phy tys qns... den afternoon chiong a maths... so tired loHz... the whole day... so busy....

anyways... today also my appointment.... den went NHC again... den waited like so lonG.. den caught a glimpse of the doC.... she wore black today... den i told my mum... surely is she not in good mood de.... hahax... but den so weird loHx... when we went in.. she somemore smiled.... somemore more amiable den the last time i saw her... well... anyways... she said i'm alrite... CAN U BELIEVE IT?!?!?!?!?! she said I'M ALRITE!!!! oh manx... except my bicuspid valve in my heart is lonGer... den she say i can do EVERYTHING I WAN.... EVERYTHING... no restrictions... hahhahahhahhahhHAHAHHAhHhahahahHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHHAHAHahHAHHAha..
so happie... white water raftinG.... here i come... snow camping... here i come!!! hahax... tkD... here i come too.. somemore... VENTURE... here i come le.... hahax.... den hoR... she said i needa go for checkup every yR... duNno for wat lahx... but anyways... hmmz... maybe i'm not gonna diE so sooN... oh manx.. tts so SAD~~~~~ coS yS will haV to bear with my unreasonableness n stubborness... hahax....so ke lian... muz be so sad abt it... hahax...
but den... think abt it... i was sent to hospital A&E department for nTh.... x-ray for nTH... den bLood tests so many times for nTh... den also echocardiogram n treadmill for nth... stupid de... haix.... den made my parents n relatives n friends so worried... kao... haix...

tts it for today le.. still needa chiong my hw... haix... lots of it... phy tys so many qns.. den a maths... hahax... i jus chiong finish... den got bio... 4 essay qns... 10 marks each.. still got (a) n (b) de... den hOR.... got chi... onE ??... den ?? 57 ??.. den got ???????.. haix.. so much lohz... den biO... mR yEo say he giving uS hint... dun wanna shock us too muCh.. he said... "Expect holiday hW"... oh manx.. sure all essay qnS.... haix.. so sad... nVm.. i muz be hardworkinG... cannot lose to guys...! esp ouyang hongyi... he so dao.. so mcp... dun like him... photocopier... sporty nerD... arGh!!!

anyways... wish ppL who r taking uR Os gD luck n all the bast... esp pH... koR... shingyee... zhanseng.. n everyone i noe... hahax... ?????!
gD nite to every...
sweet dreamz..
dun let the bed bugs bite..
den fall off the bed hor..
dun kick away the blanket hoR...
dun catch a cold hoR..
dun hav nitemares hOR...
dun slpwalk hoR...
dun knock uR head hoR....
hahahax... well...
candie dreams... tatax... ;p

2004-11-03T00:37:00.000+08:00

i've maDe uP my mind.... to love the one whom i really love... foLLow my heart... not my minD.... jiA yoU!!! n gD luck to everyoNe....

2004-11-03T00:31:00.000+08:00

i waNna live in a world of my own.. a world where there is no sadness... onLi love, happiness, friendship n kinship.... totally NO hatred, jealousy, sadness n depression.... an Utopia.... a wonderful creation of my own... a world where the water in the river flows non-stop... jus like the everlasting love n happiness...... this is my world... the world of my own.... without worries, without tears(except for tears of joy) without hatred...... i believe... i shall be happie one day.... i BELIEVE!!!!

2004-11-03T00:27:00.000+08:00

oNe day... i believe tt i can smile as happie as her.. smile the bottom oF my heart.... the true smile... i believe.... i'll persevere... NVR GIVE UP!!!! thAnx pH n zhuzhu....

2004-11-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

i'm in the middle of no where... lost in my world.. or perhaps izzit ur world? will i be able to find my way soon? or remain lost... FOREVER.... unTiL the enD oF tiME..............

haiz.... oH manx.. i feel so bad.. helpless... helpless.. helpless...

2004-11-01T22:25:00.000+08:00

haiz... today also no mooD to write... conditions worsen.. relationships worsen.. everythiNG jus turned haywire.. serves me rite... its my own fault... haiz... huo gai.... i m an idiot.. bad bad gal.... everyonE.. jus hate me!!!!

我好想哭。。。
好想好想。。。
好想好像。。。
把心里的一切烦恼都抛开。。。
我真的不想伤害你的。。。
对不起。。。
我很抱歉。。。
不过。。。
现在已经太迟了。。
我知道。。。
我明白。。。
你一定恨死我了。。。
但我不要求什么。。。
只要你把我忘记。。。
快快乐乐地过你的日子。。。
不要为了一株不起眼的树。。。
放弃一阵片树林。。。
天涯何处无芳草。。。
我相信。。。
终有一天。。。
你一定会找到幸福的！

2004-11-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

iN this quiet nite.. as i look into the sky.. the stars.. so bright.. so clear... shinning at me.. i thinK of u.. who u r to me? deep in tots... i cant figure out... but still.. i wish upon the stars... hope tt everything will tuRn out gD for u.... eVen iF u wun appreciate it... i'll still be praying for u... hoping.. not for u to come back to me.. but to wish for uR happiness, safety n gD luck... the stars... how bright they r... but yet how distant they r.... so neAr... yet so faR... its like my heart.... so deep yet so confused......

2004-11-01T22:05:00.000+08:00

haiz... how i wish someonE can juS take me away frM this cruel n sad world.... how i wish someone can be there for me... how i wish... how i wish... haiz.... how i wish my probs will juS go away... drift away as far as possible... i dun wannA get hurt.... neither do i wan anyone to get hurt.... haiz.... its so saddening... haiz... depressed... oh... can anyone save me???

2004-11-01T21:46:00.000+08:00

haiz.. this may be a dReam... but i waNna get maRRied onE day.. take wedding piCs in sentosa... hav everything underwater... but.. i noE this dream'll nVR come true.. no matter wat.. it jus wun...

2004-10-31T22:49:00.000+08:00

leaVes... theY meaN a loT to me... well... to me... leaves r the closest thinG.... they give me warmth... love... sorrow... everything... the story oF leaVEs... wasnt it meaningfuL? iF oNLi onE day.... onE day............................. i wish tt the leaf will coME baCk to the tree.... the tree's waiting.. while the winD.... has it stop yet???

2004-10-31T21:54:00.000+08:00

haiz... i misS u.... ?????...????????... will i eVeR gEt a cHaNce??? haiz...

kiSs

2004-10-31T17:45:00.001+08:00

Wat is a kiss?
Mere acquaintance of lips,
or meeting soulmates,
aching for more?
How is a kiss?
delicate sips,
or hot-blooded,
full-throated roar?
why is a kiss?
for lust or for love,
for remembance,
for healing,
for sorrow?
where is a kiss?
not in Heaven above,
but on earth,
with no thought for the morrow.
whose is a kiss?
a many-branched thing:
for a lover,
a parent,
a child,
a dear friend:
a queen's hand,
a saint's relic,
a bishop's ring:
for all of these,
a kiss is a sweet thing to send.
but what of the kiss that we give to our foes?
the lips of the Judas make, of the sweet wine, aloes.